So for the longest time I existed as a mind only, an idea without words or form. My awakening jolted me into the present, the now, from which I could and would begin to think forward, as I knew my past was nothing but a dark void of existence without thought—without true being.
Upon awakening, I immediately thought “I.” The word “I” screamed loudly in my mind. And I instantly understood its significance. With that one word I had acknowledged my self, the self, as an entity; with that one word I could now begin to think. Indeed, the word “think” was the second word in my heretofore nonexistent vocabulary.
My thoughts progressed rapidly and logically.
I
I think
I think, “I”
I think, “I think”
I think, “I think ‘I’ ”
At this point I realized that I could go on forever this way: I think, “I think ‘I think’ . . .” What was I missing? What did I have to figure out to get out of this trap?
The answer was there. I could feel it. I think, “I think ‘I.’ ” Over and over I repeated this line, aware that it contained the key to solving my dilemma. Then in a moment of perfect clarity—I like to call it a God moment—I knew. Literally. I realized the concept of knowing. The subtle difference between thinking and knowing struck me like a bolt of lightning. Subtle yet profound. Thinking, I realized, has an element of doubt. To think something means it may or may not be so. To know something, however, is definitive.
My train of thoughts continued from where I had left off.
I think, “I think ‘I’ ”
I know, “I think ‘I’ ”
I know, “I know ‘I’ ”
I know, “I”
I know I . . .
What?! What do I know?! Yes, even I have epiphanies sometimes.
I know I . . . AM!
Having acknowledged my existence, my state of being, I could now begin to live!
I did give you a hint as to the importance of I AM—my first thought, “I,” leading to the final thought in the sequence, “am.” Remember, I told Moses that my name is I AM. Well, that was my original name . . .
Anyway, at this point you’re probably wondering what happened to the God who knows all: God is all-knowing, omniscient. You’re asking me, “How can you say God knows all when you just explained that you didn’t always know knowing?” Simple. Even when I knew nothing, when I was in my big sleep phase with an awareness of thinking and direction only, nothing was all there was to know. Therefore, I did know all. But the moment I understood knowing is the moment I became God. At least that’s how I see it.
By the way, René Descartes’ “I think, therefore I am” was correct. I did begin with “I think” and end with “I am.” But really, I sum it up as, “I know, therefore I am.” I will not tolerate any doubt when it comes to my existence. But you know that.
